Home Sweet Home

I made it home yesterday, just 24 hours after my surgery. When I woke up from surgery, I never would have thought I would be heading home that soon! Waking up in the recovery room was awful. I was in so much pain, especially in my arms. I actually think my arms hurt worse than my chest. Plus I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see anything! Once I got admitted into my room, I was able to sit and talk with my family about the surgery. Everything went as planned! Just as we wanted it to! 

In summary, this is how surgery went. First, they did the mastectomy and then removed the sentinel lymph nodes in my left armpit. One of the nodes had a clip in it because they marked it as the one that initially tested positive for cancer. They said that if they couldn't identify the one with the clip in it, that would have had to remove ALL my lymph nodes. The good news they only removed 4, including the one with the clip in it, and sent them into pathology. The pathology showed NO disease, so they did not need to remove additional lymph nodes!! I was very happy to hear that because your lymph nodes are an important part of your immune system, and getting lymphadema did not sound like too much fun. This part of the surgery was the longest part (about 4 hours). Apparently Dr. Sugg came out and talked to my family and she was thrilled with the result. The only downside was that I lost a lot of blood, but I didn't need a transfusion.

The second part of the surgery was the reconstructive part. The plan was to place implants in right away, but they warned me that I may wake up with expanders, and it all depended on how much skin they could save during the surgery. Lucky for me, implants are in!, and I won't need any additional surgeries at this point... Woo Hoo!! My fear was that I was going to wake up with no boobs at all, and I wasn't sure how I would handle that. 

I am so relieved to have this part over with, but I'm currently dealing with some annoying side effects. I'm staying on top of my pain meds, but they make me feel stoned and I pretty much fall asleep immediately when I take them. The drainage balls I have hanging out of me are a pain in the neck, and I have to wear them for a whole week. Oh, and I can't shower until the drain tubes are removed. So no shower for a week!! Gross, right. That's ok, my mom cleaned me up a little this morning, but it's not the same.

I am doing well at home! I can go to the bathroom myself, but changing clothes is a challenge. I am really good at sleeping, and there is nothing good on tv during the day (except for Ellen at 4:00). I got t see the kids last night too, and of course I missed them a ton. That may be why I wanted to come home right away too. My parents are bringing them back to Carroll this weekend so I can rest and relax. Ryan will get to be my nurse :)

Thanks again to everyone's support and encouragement this week! I loved scrolling thru all of the Facebook posts, texts, and pictures cheering me on. That actually made me feel really calm and collected knowing that I have the best support system out there! I have the best family and the best friends, and most importantly, GOD! This is probably one of the first times in my life I just had to trust that the man upstairs is going to take care of me, and believe in His plan. I hope this all makes sense since I am heavily medicated, and I'm not sure if anything I am saying makes sense. But, I wanted to let everyone know I made it home and that the recovery has started. 

Angie

The "Nesting" has set in...

You know how right before you have a baby you start "nesting." I find myself doing the same thing right before surgery. Only 8 more days til they "cut my boobs off." I'm not that excited about it, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I wish I was going in to have a baby! Having a baby is a happy time and I enjoyed/looked forward to meeting my children. Having a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery does not seem like it's going to be bring me the same kind of joy. If I wake up from surgery and they tell me I'm cancer free, then yes I will be relieved and greatful! However, I feel a little sad to "Say Goodbye to the girls."

I had a garage sale this weekend and got rid of a lot of stuff! This was my major "nesting" task. Got rid of all of the kids clothes that no longer fit them (and was over taking the storage room in the basement) and a lot of other random things. It felt good to get that done before surgery and make a little bit of cash :).

Since my last chemo and my last blog entry, I have been doing well for the most part. I went in a couple of weeks ago and still had Perjecta and Herceptin infusions. At that time, my doctor put me on a potassium pill for low potassium levels. I was thinking "really, another pill?" Can't I just eat more bananas or something? Honestly, the pill has helped my energy level significantly! I was surprised, and happy that I got my spark back. I will continue to get the Herceptin infusion every 3 weeks for the next year. This is protocol for those with HER2 positive breast cancer. I know that I will need to have radiation as well, but I don't have the details on that yet, and probably won't until after surgery.

My biggest complaint since my last chemo is my NAILS! My fingernails are literally falling off. This apparently is a symptom of one of my chemo drugs Taxotere, and it's rare that it happens, so of course it's happening to me. It's disgusting. They gave me an antibiotic, but it didn't help at all. So, I have nails that are oozing puss out of them and separating from my finger; and yes it's painful. I am so annoyed by this because I didn't expect it, and why did it start happening AFTER I was done with chemo? I expected to lose my hair, and I know I'm going to lose my Boobs, but no one told me my fingernails could fall off! Yes, they will grow back, but in the meantime, I'm really self conscious about it (and annoyed).

So the "nesting" will continue these next 8 days til surgery. I will work this week, and then start my leave of absence after this Friday. I'm making plans for the kids, and myself to get me thru this next big step. My parents and Ryan are going to be my life line to recover. I'm not that nervous at the moment, but I'm sure I will be come next Monday. I'm not scared of surgery, but terrified of the recovery (again, because I don't know what to expect and I like things to go as planned). I also like being independent, and I am going to have to depend on a lot of other people for a few weeks and that is going to drive me crazy. I guess the nesting and preparing gives me some sort of control and that makes me feel better.

I went to Iowa City today for my pre op appointment with Dr.Sugg. It wasn't anything too eventful, and she made it sound like this was going to be a piece of cake! I'm sure it will be for her, so I'm glad  my surgeons are confident.Then I guess I will continue on with life for a the next week until it's showtime. I'm looking forward to seeing a lot of family this weekend at my cousins graduation, because nothing is more fun than getting together with my aunts, uncles, and cousins!! My family is pretty awesome :)

I do like to end my blogs on a positive note, and of course share some photos. Here's what I have for now. I ask you all for your prayers and support during this crazy time! Thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️

     The garage sale that I am glad is over....

     Kyla and I having a girl's day!

    Cruze looking adorable.... 😍