It's been a great JUNE! Bring on Radiation JULY...

It's been awhile since I posted any updates, but believe it or not I've been busy! Busy enjoying my time off, and summer in general. This last month of recovery has been great! I definitely prepared for the worst, and it has not been bad at all. I am finally regaining strength in my arms, and any soreness or pain I had is pretty much gone. When I met with the plastic surgeon for a follow up he cleared me to be able to swim since my scars are healed up, so needless to say I have enjoyed some days at the pool! I feel like I have gotten over my self conciousness of having no hair at the pool, or the lake. I just apply a lot of sunscreen on my head, and the rest of me of course. I was even brave enough to go to the gym with no hair for the first time last week. I'm just working on my cardio of course since my arms and upper body are not quite 100% yet. It seems dumb I know to care so much about not having any hair, even though many compliment me on the look. I just don't think I'll ever get over it. My hair is growing back quite quickly though. I'll be rocking the pixie cut before you know it.

My next step will be radiation. I was told by my doctors that I was very borderline and may not need to go thru with radiation, but after meeting with the radiation/oncologist, Ryan and I decided that it is best to go thru with it. It seemed like a "no-brainer" to me, and I felt like radiation is the best thing to do to reduce reoccurrence. What I was told by the radiologist was that in her biased opinion, she would do it. I appreciated her being so blunt with me. Everything she said made total sense. She said "if you were 74 years old, then I can see why you may hold off. But, you are 34 years old, and if there are any cancer cells left, lets zap them now. We know radiation kills cancer." She also assured me that the side effects of radiation would be very minimal compared to what I have already been thru with the chemo. Chemo effects your whole body, and radiation will effect only my left breast area. Some of the side effects I may experience include skin burns and irritation, tiredness, and possible heart complications. My heart continues to get monitored by echo cardio grams periodically, and so far it's been fine. I'm sure since my implants are already in, the radiation will affect my implant on that side as well, but that is cosmetic, and better than having cancer again. I figured I better get this done now while I have the time off from work and so I can close this chapter of my life and move on! I go in this week and get marked/tattooed as to where the radiation will be administered. I don't know exactly what day I will start my radiation treatments, but it will be after the 4th of July, and I will do 33 treatments (Monday-Friday for 6.5 weeks). Quite the time commitment, so I hope to get most of it or all of it done before returning to work. 

I would say it has taken me up until a couple of weeks ago to mentally understand what I have gone thru the last 6 months. I had cancer. My worst fear. How did I do this? I think thru chemo and surgery I was in such a "fight or flight" mentality that I wasn't even thinking about how serious of a condition I had. I just wanted nothing to change. I wanted to keep my life as normal as possible for my kids and for my mental health. Now that I have had the time to reflect on the situation, I am glad that it happened to me for many reasons. It has changed me in numerous ways, and has made me a more greatful human being. I feel so lucky and thank God several times a day that it was not worse. I thank Him for giving me a second chance at life, strengthening my marriage, and showing me how loved I am by my support system. I thank Him for my relationship with Him (God and I have gotten a lot closer this year that's for sure). I beg Him that this cancer does not reoccur, and promise to hold up my end of the deal by taking care of myself physically and mentally. Without my family, friends, neighbors, and many many others I could not have done this with such strength. I am so greatful this happened to me and not one of you reading this blog. It's been a whirlwind mentally as much as it has physically, but I'm ready to tackle the radiation and then be done with this, and MOVE ON!

I'll try better to blog more often. I really have been busy and have been enjoying the time away from work. My house gets picked up every day, and I have much more time to focus on my family. I love being retired! I know that August will come before I know it and back to the office I'll go, but I need this time not only to heal physically but MENTALLY as well. 

   Pool day!

More pool fun with friends!

   Cruze-man rocking Racquel. Can't believe this boy will be 4 tomorrow! 

   Me and my Awesome cousins at Corey's wedding last weekend! I'm so happy I made it to be there     for the shenanigans.

   ❤️❤️❤️

Life in Moderation on this Road to Recovery!

Last week was my first full week home of recovery. It was awesome, because both my mom and dad were here all week! The kids went to school/daycare and my parents waited on me the whole time. Ryan was able to return to work since they were here to help out. My mom did lots of laundry, house cleaning, and making dinner. My dad did lots of man duties for Ryan like mowing the lawn, fixing a few things, and I even had him hang a few pictures on the wall. My mom thinks she wasn't much help, because I wasn't laying in bed or on the couch the whole time, which I wasn't. I have been functioning well, but those darn drainage tubes that were hanging out of me were a pain in the butt, and really did a great job of getting in my way. Mike and Diane also did what they do best....entertain and spoil the kids! I know that after having them in Carroll all Memorial weekend and then here for a full week, that Grandma and Grandpa were tired, and probably needed this last weekend to rest up so they could go back to work today. They left Friday night and I was sad to see them go, because they really did help out more than they think they did.

Thursday, I went in to see my oncologist and have my Herceptin injection that I still get every 3 weeks. This gave us a chance to discuss my surgery results, and "where I go from here." With the very positive results from my surgery, they are questioning if I even need radiation at this point! You see, of the lymph nodes they removed during surgery, none of them tested positive for any cancer! AND of the breast tissue that was removed; what once was 8.5cm of total cancer, chemo shrunk to LESS THAN 1 MILLEMETER! AMAZING! This coming Friday I have a whole days worth of appointments down at the University of Iowa again, where I am meeting with their radiation oncologist group as well to see what they recommend as far as "if I need radiation or not." I'd love to not have to do it, but want this second opinion to make sure I make the right decision. I know there are pros and cons of doing it / not doing it. I'll update you all on that in my next blog post. More big girl decisions to make ahead when it comes to radiation.

So last Friday was the day I had been waiting for since after my surgery. I met with Dr. Lawrence, the plastic surgeon and GOT THE DRAINAGE TUBES REMOVED! NO MORE BALL AND CHAINS  HANGING OUT OF ME! I felt like a free woman. I came right home and went immediately to the shower, since I hadn't taken a shower in 9 days. It felt amazing! I had a great day Friday, and felt so good. I even got to go visit some friends til 11:45pm Friday night, and felt great, but then it caught up with me and I paid for it on Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning and was just fine, but ended up in bed sleeping most of the afternoon. We headed over to the neighbors house for their sons birthday party, but I had to go home early and go back to bed. I hadn't been taking the pain meds for a few days and thought I was doing well without them but broke down and took the pain meds for the rest of the weekend. I guess that's where I am still learning to take life in moderation, and be good to myself.

Sunday ended up being the best day of the weekend, because Ryan, the kids, and I got to go do my all time favorite activity of any summer! We headed to the lake with Ryan's brothers, Joe and Doug, and their families. It doesn't matter what lake we go to, it is the reason why I love summer so much. I love boating, relaxing, and appreciating the beauty of a beautiful summer day. Although I was not ready for the boat yet, I was just fine sitting with my 2 sister-in-laws while the guys took the kids out tubing and boat cruising. I hope by the 4th of July I am able to handle the boat, but if not, I will still love lake life :).

This week Ryan is home with me, and I am taking it easy for the most part, and coming up with some projects for him while the kids are enjoying daycare most of the day. I'm still pretty sore and having some twinges/muscle spasms in the chest area. I can't use my left arm nearly as well as my right arm (very frustrating for a left handed person). I really am obeying the rules of "not lifting anything weighing more than a gallon of milk". I think even a gallon of milk would hurt if I lifted it with my left arm. I have MORE DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS Thursday and Friday. Thursday is just blood work since my blood work has been off since my last chemo, and then I lost a lot of blood during surgery, so they are just monitoring it. Friday will be another full day in Iowa City (3 appointments), and will hopefully get an answer on if I need radiation or not. The struggle for me is different everyday. I need to "Take Life in Moderation" have fun a little, and take it easy. I have never been good at listening to my body, so I have to tell myself STOP, you aren't supposed to be doing that. I'm working on it! We have had such beautiful weather since I have gotten home from the hospital too, it's hard for me to not enjoy a beautiful day, right?

Overall, I feel like I'm doing much better than I thought I would be at this point. I'm just trying to relax, reduce any stress, and enjoy my "summer break" that I've been granted. Have a good week everyone!

Grandma and Grandpa Save the Day!! 

Ky's Last Day of Kindergarten on June 1st

   The sucky drainage tubes... And almost a boob shot 😜

The cousins loving a day at Lake Ponderosa

    Kyla caught her 1st fish!!

    Cruze wasn't so lucky with a big catch, but he had fun trying.

   Love these kids!