It&#39;s been a great JUNE! Bring on Radiation JULY...

It's been awhile since I posted any updates, but believe it or not I've been busy! Busy enjoying my time off, and summer in general. This last month of recovery has been great! I definitely prepared for the worst, and it has not been bad at all. I am finally regaining strength in my arms, and any soreness or pain I had is pretty much gone. When I met with the plastic surgeon for a follow up he cleared me to be able to swim since my scars are healed up, so needless to say I have enjoyed some days at the pool! I feel like I have gotten over my self conciousness of having no hair at the pool, or the lake. I just apply a lot of sunscreen on my head, and the rest of me of course. I was even brave enough to go to the gym with no hair for the first time last week. I'm just working on my cardio of course since my arms and upper body are not quite 100% yet. It seems dumb I know to care so much about not having any hair, even though many compliment me on the look. I just don't think I'll ever get over it. My hair is growing back quite quickly though. I'll be rocking the pixie cut before you know it.

My next step will be radiation. I was told by my doctors that I was very borderline and may not need to go thru with radiation, but after meeting with the radiation/oncologist, Ryan and I decided that it is best to go thru with it. It seemed like a "no-brainer" to me, and I felt like radiation is the best thing to do to reduce reoccurrence. What I was told by the radiologist was that in her biased opinion, she would do it. I appreciated her being so blunt with me. Everything she said made total sense. She said "if you were 74 years old, then I can see why you may hold off. But, you are 34 years old, and if there are any cancer cells left, lets zap them now. We know radiation kills cancer." She also assured me that the side effects of radiation would be very minimal compared to what I have already been thru with the chemo. Chemo effects your whole body, and radiation will effect only my left breast area. Some of the side effects I may experience include skin burns and irritation, tiredness, and possible heart complications. My heart continues to get monitored by echo cardio grams periodically, and so far it's been fine. I'm sure since my implants are already in, the radiation will affect my implant on that side as well, but that is cosmetic, and better than having cancer again. I figured I better get this done now while I have the time off from work and so I can close this chapter of my life and move on! I go in this week and get marked/tattooed as to where the radiation will be administered. I don't know exactly what day I will start my radiation treatments, but it will be after the 4th of July, and I will do 33 treatments (Monday-Friday for 6.5 weeks). Quite the time commitment, so I hope to get most of it or all of it done before returning to work.

I would say it has taken me up until a couple of weeks ago to mentally understand what I have gone thru the last 6 months. I had cancer. My worst fear. How did I do this? I think thru chemo and surgery I was in such a "fight or flight" mentality that I wasn't even thinking about how serious of a condition I had. I just wanted nothing to change. I wanted to keep my life as normal as possible for my kids and for my mental health. Now that I have had the time to reflect on the situation, I am glad that it happened to me for many reasons. It has changed me in numerous ways, and has made me a more greatful human being. I feel so lucky and thank God several times a day that it was not worse. I thank Him for giving me a second chance at life, strengthening my marriage, and showing me how loved I am by my support system. I thank Him for my relationship with Him (God and I have gotten a lot closer this year that's for sure). I beg Him that this cancer does not reoccur, and promise to hold up my end of the deal by taking care of myself physically and mentally. Without my family, friends, neighbors, and many many others I could not have done this with such strength. I am so greatful this happened to me and not one of you reading this blog. It's been a whirlwind mentally as much as it has physically, but I'm ready to tackle the radiation and then be done with this, and MOVE ON!

I'll try better to blog more often. I really have been busy and have been enjoying the time away from work. My house gets picked up every day, and I have much more time to focus on my family. I love being retired! I know that August will come before I know it and back to the office I'll go, but I need this time not only to heal physically but MENTALLY as well.